4ever4sakenjess

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Mon, 01 Aug 2005 08:11:14 GMT

Hello...

well... not much new realy..

with Marc.. have no friends aside from marc and my online ones...

summer has been rough and sucky.. barely saw my baby boy..

so far ive seen him a bit so im doin ok and hanging in... i miss him..

im talking to him on the internet but he seems kinda.. distant.. prolly cuz

its 4 AM and he wants bed xD We know he wants me in his bed tho..

Ok again with the hormones..

Ive been sex free for like.. ever... god help me...

Im going utterly insane Lol! Hmm.. Utter.. like a cow.. o.o

Marc is gunna read this when im done.. i think..>>

~~JESSI BABY LOVES U MARC!!!!!!~~

Ok i really dont know what to write.. kinda tired.. kinda depressed...

wanting to slit Nick, Meg W, Meg K, Dylan and Chad's throat cuz they pissed me off today..

i was almost gunna.. if my mum didnt ask why i want to go to the kendalls

when i looked so pissed then they would prolly all be scared shitless right now and

my prolly in jail.. yeah ok.. bais.. ~I Walk Alone~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sincerely;
Jessi baby

O.o

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 17:49:59 GMT

WEEEEEELL! Havnt updated here in like.. forever o.o

hmm.. lets see... i broke up with marc
went out with nick
broke up with him
back with Marc..

WOOOOOOOTS!

but my mum wont let me see him....sooooooooooo im wicked pissed at like.. 35648506347 people right now.. yeah.. ok.. bais?

Time for a change

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 02:17:39 GMT

well.. Marc said i need to change.. or this relationship will be over.. and i cant have him back.. SO.. I dunno.. i need to change..but i dont kno how.. he said to stop dwelling on my past relationships..not my fault ive been broken so much in the past that im afraid of it again..sooo anyone up to help me change lemme kno.. =\ cuz obviously no mater how hard i try myself it doesnt work..*I kno everything will be ok if i die tomorrow*

O_O

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 02:04:26 GMT

Hmm..Well, Tom likes me..not India.. /swt.. Amd uhm..lets see..babysitting a black lab for a week.. Love her.. so kewt.. uhm.. GOT NEW CELLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *rapes it* Well, hmm.. *goes off to draw* BAIS!
* I know everything will be ok if i die tomorrow* BWAHAHAHA I LOVE THAT LINE I LOVE THIS SOOOOOONGGGGGGG *rapes song* YAY RAPE!

Well... Rocky Road..

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 03:22:38 GMT

Mixed feelings,...ooooooooooober mixed feelings.. Crushin on Tom.. starting to not like marc.. marc jsut caleld me and we gotr into a lil spat and the last thing he said b 4 he just hung up was " if u want to dump me do it now..." >.< I dont want to lose marc but he is being an ass fuck.. I need to take megs advice for once and talk to him but.. i have no idea wut to say..well..over n out..bais..
~Tear apart what you created~

O_O

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 03:47:05 GMT

Weeeeeeeee fill this out? =D
AM I: [Yes or No]

ugly?
kind?
quiet?
loud?
shy?
typical?
weird?
selfish?
crazy?
attractive?
cute?
pretty?
sexy?
nice?
mean?
immature?
rude?
cool?
a brat?
a bitch?
stupid?
caring?
mature?
uncaring?
a friend?
more than a friend?
your best friend?
talkative?
boring?
creative?
smart?
a flirt?
emotional?
slutty?
a psycho?
athletic?
confusing?
sweet?
moody?
annoying?
funny?
hyper?
laid back?
perfect?
awesome?
your role-model?

:JUST SOME QUESTIONS:

2. Do you think I'll get married?
3. If you do, who do you think I'll marry?
4. When is my birthday?
5. Who is my best friend?
6. Where did you and I meet?
7. Have you ever had a dream about me?
8. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
9. Describe me in 3-5 words:
10. Do you think I'm a virgin?
11. If you could tell me anything, what would it be?
12. If you could ask me anything, what would it be?
13. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
14. Are we good friends?
15. Do you trust me?
16. What is something you admire most about me?
17. What is something you dislike most about me?

:PERSONAL:

1. I am the _______ person you know.
2. Would you ever kiss-kiss me?
3. Would you want to be my bf/gf?
4. Do you ever think about me offline?
5. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest), how much do you think of me each day?
6. Would you ever ask me out?
7. Right now, what is the chance of that happening (in %)?
8. Have you ever had a crush on me?
9. Do you still?
10. On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate my body?
11. On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate my personality?
12. Physically, what's my best feature?
13. Mentally, what's my best feature?

:EVERYONE:

11. What is one thing you would want to tell me before I died?
12. What do you think about me in general?
13. Was this totally pointless?
14. Will you make me fill this out about you next time?

well... nuttin really goin on..just had breakdown.. O_o me n marc might not last..yeah..its all good..*puts on fake smile*

O_______________________o

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 20:07:18 GMT

Hi...bored..at library... going to hang self..xDDDD nah i wouldnt be lucky enough.. ok i will update for real later..bais...X He's easy on the eyes btu hard on the heart.X

DONT LET THEM TAKE ME AGAIN!!!!

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 22:57:40 GMT

NUUUUUUU! well im home but they are already planning our vaca for next year and this time its for a month!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NEVER!!!! AAAAAH! I will go insane..well...im waiting for muh baby to come home cuz i miss him... that was a horrible vaca the condo we stayed at sucked... like.. the toilets flooded, ice cold showers, and boring..no guys to look at either..just like.. old people.. and as Meggi wouls say "Old people smell"...indeed...... there was nuttin but old people! T___T well my baby is here.....bais XIm on the outside im lookin in i canb see thru u see to the real toX

69 69 69 69 69 omg!!!!!!!

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 21:28:19 GMT

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i have a new favorite number and it is 69 cna u guess why? Yes well i had a busy weekend ^~. all i can say is marc, 69, omg, WOW! >.> stop reading now if u dun wanna kno more lololol.. well yeah thats basically all u people needa kno.. =P SO yeah lately ive been soooooooooo fuckin depressed b cuz i gotta leave for florida on saturday for 2 weeks!!!!!! u wont talk to me or see me for 2 whole weeks! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! T_T Im missing me n marcs one year anniversary..im so fuckin pissed but u kno, I love hima nd he knows that and we will be together in heart..and ima write to him every day and try to call him as much as i can.. for everyone else im sorry blame my family..xD I kno marc dun read this so i can put a whole buncha shit in ehre *evil grin* yeah well..there is an arcade down by where i am staying so thats good but im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo petrified of the plane.. T_________________T *whimpers in corner* YES! YOUR BIG BRAVE TOUGH JESSI IS AFRAID OF THE PLANE SO WUT?! SHUT IT! >.> teehee.. got anythign to say i dare u say it lol.. *shakes fist* I cant beleive its 2 fuckin long weeks..thats so insane.. im ready to go run away so they wun take me..ah but where to go? Well.. im off to do hell, i mean my report.. yeah well.. peace -_-V * I dont care what i want i jsut want mine* I WILL MISS MY MARC BABYYYYYYYYYYY OMG IM GUNNA CRY OOOOOOMGGGGGGGG BREAKDOWN!!!!!!! T_________________________T *hysterical crying* two weeks is too long to be away from my baby.. T_T

Why does everything good i have get taken away?!

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 23:51:01 GMT

well... life sux still.. idk ive been extremely depressed lately and im jsut ready to fuckin break.. i cant handle this stress anymore...i need help.. i need marc.. i need him but i cant have him..life is so unfair.. my friend jsut got taken awya and is being put into a foster home b cuz of her ass hole father.. im ready to jsut go on a killing streak and kill everyone i see.. lets hope i look in the mirror then.. hate skewl hate drama hate life hate my family hate some of my "freinds" hate love hate broken hearts hate crying hate the sun light hate happiness i hate you all... all i have is the darkness and my music.. i cant fuckin draw anymore i dont even know why i bother.. im just another one of those people left out in the dust but ya knpo thats ok leave me here i dont want any of u to be here with me.. i jsut want marc..thats all i ever wated but i guess i dont get what i want now do i? FUCK YOU ALL FUCK LIFE I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE AND FROM NOW ON ITS MY DECISION AND U CANT STOP ME FROM MAKING THE DECISIONS I WANT TO MAKE!!!!!!! nothing is good anymore so its not worth keeping... everything is gone.. there is almsot no point for me to live..just marc...weither he is there or not.. i need him and just seeing him makes me feel ok.. i just hope ya kno.. i dont lose him anymore than i already have.. well..bai.. im off to cry like i do every fuckin night..X Promise me you'll never let me go.X

YAYNESS OMG >.>

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 23:14:41 GMT

WEEEEEEEEEEELL ok dirty dirty past few days...marc slept over for the past two days and well...lots of ...fun..>.> Lolol...Well RO is down for a bit so im stuck with the boring internet..SO yeh well..my frind Mary is staying with me for a while weeeeeeeeeee... im eating chips n salsa and omg i love ice cubes..*winks to marc* hahahaha ^~ U wun get it so dun try...xDD all u needa kno is that its naughty..xDD I have to babysit all week but i get pay'd 50$ for it so its worth it..the kid like..sits in the room playing gamesd all day i dun gotta do anything xD..Well..im off to watch the nightmare b 4 christmas bbl...BAIS!
X Its jsut like i feared this town is giong to make me breakdown.X

Almost Christmas

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 21:01:51 GMT

Well...Uhh..almost christmas...yay? also almsot me n marcs 11 mointh anniversary =D Yeah well i wanted to sleep over marcs house cuz my mum wants to get rid of me tonight buuuuuuuuut, oh well he stayed home from skewl so he cant. He is a butt..lol..I had yet another mental breakdown last night and im really tired of them..kinda wishing everyone...including marc would just go away for a little bit..yes i love him, more than anything and i kno he wants to help but sometimes he only makes it worse without meaning too..I want him to help me, but he is younge and he is hurting me more than he is helping me, just in ways that are hard to explain. My mum...actually stayed up talking to me trying to get me to stop crying from 10:15 to a lil past 12:00..Yeah well..im off...feeling extremely happy for once in my life so ima use it to my advantage.. *goes to run around my house naked* WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! BAIS! X back off i'll take you on.X IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCCCCCCCCCCCC!!

Wowies....

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 16:42:32 GMT

Woah i havnt been here in a while...yeah hmmm lets see...well it says the date so i dont really have to tell u now do i? Hmm well atm i have to go potty and im in chorus at skew..yeah well lets catch up.. Im not a virgin anymore and yes i lost (wouldnt really say lost more liek gave) it to marc (all the details are in my GOOD diary XDD)my tummy hurts...yeah..well marc basically sleeps over every weekend *cough* for....reasons.. and he is currently grounded for skipping skewl...his punishments are no tv, comp, phone, video games and no Jess *sib* poor lil boy lol. Im sure he will survive tho i think we need some times apart...mMmMmMm Taking backj sunday im obsessed with this cd now *glomsp it* its mine! Well i had a mental breakdown on thrusday and started crying in the hall... stress and friends if ur wondewring y.. the friends have been cutting them selves n shit so it hurts me..yeah well i think im done...gunna go listen to taking back sunday..MINE!! *runs* Bais *~* I wear my jeans a little tight and jsut a little to low, i liek to watch the little boys about to blow *~*