| Random posting |
[01 Aug 2005|04:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thinking |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bleed like me-Garbage |
] |
Hello...
well... not much new realy..
with Marc.. have no friends aside from marc and my online ones...
summer has been rough and sucky.. barely saw my baby boy..
so far ive seen him a bit so im doin ok and hanging in... i miss him..
im talking to him on the internet but he seems kinda.. distant.. prolly cuz
its 4 AM and he wants bed xD We know he wants me in his bed tho..
Ok again with the hormones..
Ive been sex free for like.. ever... god help me...
Im going utterly insane Lol! Hmm.. Utter.. like a cow.. o.o
Marc is gunna read this when im done.. i think..>>
~~JESSI BABY LOVES U MARC!!!!!!~~
Ok i really dont know what to write.. kinda tired.. kinda depressed...
wanting to slit Nick, Meg W, Meg K, Dylan and Chad's throat cuz they pissed me off today..
i was almost gunna.. if my mum didnt ask why i want to go to the kendalls
when i looked so pissed then they would prolly all be scared shitless right now and
my prolly in jail.. yeah ok.. bais.. ~I Walk Alone~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sincerely;
Jessi baby
|
|
| O.o |
[17 Jul 2005|01:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 irritated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Right Here-Staind |
] |
WEEEEEELL! Havnt updated here in like.. forever o.o
hmm.. lets see... i broke up with marc
went out with nick
broke up with him
back with Marc..
WOOOOOOOTS!
but my mum wont let me see him....sooooooooooo im wicked pissed at like.. 35648506347 people right now.. yeah.. ok.. bais?
|
|
| Time for a change |
[17 Mar 2005|09:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 meeehhh |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
car under water- armor for sleep |
] |
well.. Marc said i need to change.. or this relationship will be over.. and i cant have him back.. SO.. I dunno.. i need to change..but i dont kno how.. he said to stop dwelling on my past relationships..not my fault ive been broken so much in the past that im afraid of it again..sooo anyone up to help me change lemme kno.. =\ cuz obviously no mater how hard i try myself it doesnt work..*I kno everything will be ok if i die tomorrow*
|
|
| O_O |
[14 Mar 2005|09:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Hyper as helllxD |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
If I die tomorrow- Motley Crue |
] |
Hmm..Well, Tom likes me..not India.. /swt.. Amd uhm..lets see..babysitting a black lab for a week.. Love her.. so kewt.. uhm.. GOT NEW CELLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *rapes it* Well, hmm.. *goes off to draw* BAIS!
* I know everything will be ok if i die tomorrow* BWAHAHAHA I LOVE THAT LINE I LOVE THIS SOOOOOONGGGGGGG *rapes song* YAY RAPE!
|
|
| Well... Rocky Road.. |
[07 Mar 2005|10:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Oy ~_~ |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Buried a lie- senses fail |
] |
Mixed feelings,...ooooooooooober mixed feelings.. Crushin on Tom.. starting to not like marc.. marc jsut caleld me and we gotr into a lil spat and the last thing he said b 4 he just hung up was " if u want to dump me do it now..." >.< I dont want to lose marc but he is being an ass fuck.. I need to take megs advice for once and talk to him but.. i have no idea wut to say..well..over n out..bais..
~Tear apart what you created~
|
|
| O_O |
[01 Mar 2005|10:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 dun wanna lose him.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sweet surrender- ? |
] |
Weeeeeeeee fill this out? =D
AM I: [Yes or No]
ugly?
kind?
quiet?
loud?
shy?
typical?
weird?
selfish?
crazy?
attractive?
cute?
pretty?
sexy?
nice?
mean?
immature?
rude?
cool?
a brat?
a bitch?
stupid?
caring?
mature?
uncaring?
a friend?
more than a friend?
your best friend?
talkative?
boring?
creative?
smart?
a flirt?
emotional?
slutty?
a psycho?
athletic?
confusing?
sweet?
moody?
annoying?
funny?
hyper?
laid back?
perfect?
awesome?
your role-model?
:JUST SOME QUESTIONS:
2. Do you think I'll get married?
3. If you do, who do you think I'll marry?
4. When is my birthday?
5. Who is my best friend?
6. Where did you and I meet?
7. Have you ever had a dream about me?
8. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
9. Describe me in 3-5 words:
10. Do you think I'm a virgin?
11. If you could tell me anything, what would it be?
12. If you could ask me anything, what would it be?
13. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
14. Are we good friends?
15. Do you trust me?
16. What is something you admire most about me?
17. What is something you dislike most about me?
:PERSONAL:
1. I am the _______ person you know.
2. Would you ever kiss-kiss me?
3. Would you want to be my bf/gf?
4. Do you ever think about me offline?
5. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest), how much do you think of me each day?
6. Would you ever ask me out?
7. Right now, what is the chance of that happening (in %)?
8. Have you ever had a crush on me?
9. Do you still?
10. On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate my body?
11. On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate my personality?
12. Physically, what's my best feature?
13. Mentally, what's my best feature?
:EVERYONE:
11. What is one thing you would want to tell me before I died?
12. What do you think about me in general?
13. Was this totally pointless?
14. Will you make me fill this out about you next time?
well... nuttin really goin on..just had breakdown.. O_o me n marc might not last..yeah..its all good..*puts on fake smile*
|
|
| O_______________________o |
[08 Feb 2005|03:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Depressseeeddeerrredddd |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mr Brightside-The killers |
] |
Hi...bored..at library... going to hang self..xDDDD nah i wouldnt be lucky enough.. ok i will update for real later..bais...X He's easy on the eyes btu hard on the heart.X
|
|
| DONT LET THEM TAKE ME AGAIN!!!! |
[29 Jan 2005|05:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 IM HOME! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Over-Lindsay Lohan |
] |
NUUUUUUU! well im home but they are already planning our vaca for next year and this time its for a month!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NEVER!!!! AAAAAH! I will go insane..well...im waiting for muh baby to come home cuz i miss him... that was a horrible vaca the condo we stayed at sucked... like.. the toilets flooded, ice cold showers, and boring..no guys to look at either..just like.. old people.. and as Meggi wouls say "Old people smell"...indeed...... there was nuttin but old people! T___T well my baby is here.....bais XIm on the outside im lookin in i canb see thru u see to the real toX
|
|
| 69 69 69 69 69 omg!!!!!!! |
[10 Jan 2005|04:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
T_T I dun wanna leave my baby |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Rain- Breaking benjamin |
] |
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i have a new favorite number and it is 69 cna u guess why? Yes well i had a busy weekend ^~. all i can say is marc, 69, omg, WOW! >.> stop reading now if u dun wanna kno more lololol.. well yeah thats basically all u people needa kno.. =P SO yeah lately ive been soooooooooo fuckin depressed b cuz i gotta leave for florida on saturday for 2 weeks!!!!!! u wont talk to me or see me for 2 whole weeks! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! T_T Im missing me n marcs one year anniversary..im so fuckin pissed but u kno, I love hima nd he knows that and we will be together in heart..and ima write to him every day and try to call him as much as i can.. for everyone else im sorry blame my family..xD I kno marc dun read this so i can put a whole buncha shit in ehre *evil grin* yeah well..there is an arcade down by where i am staying so thats good but im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo petrified of the plane.. T_________________T *whimpers in corner* YES! YOUR BIG BRAVE TOUGH JESSI IS AFRAID OF THE PLANE SO WUT?! SHUT IT! >.> teehee.. got anythign to say i dare u say it lol.. *shakes fist* I cant beleive its 2 fuckin long weeks..thats so insane.. im ready to go run away so they wun take me..ah but where to go? Well.. im off to do hell, i mean my report.. yeah well.. peace -_-V * I dont care what i want i jsut want mine* I WILL MISS MY MARC BABYYYYYYYYYYY OMG IM GUNNA CRY OOOOOOMGGGGGGGG BREAKDOWN!!!!!!! T_________________________T *hysterical crying* two weeks is too long to be away from my baby.. T_T
|
|
| Why does everything good i have get taken away?! |
[05 Jan 2005|06:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
life sux.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Promise- matchbook romance |
] |
well... life sux still.. idk ive been extremely depressed lately and im jsut ready to fuckin break.. i cant handle this stress anymore...i need help.. i need marc.. i need him but i cant have him..life is so unfair.. my friend jsut got taken awya and is being put into a foster home b cuz of her ass hole father.. im ready to jsut go on a killing streak and kill everyone i see.. lets hope i look in the mirror then.. hate skewl hate drama hate life hate my family hate some of my "freinds" hate love hate broken hearts hate crying hate the sun light hate happiness i hate you all... all i have is the darkness and my music.. i cant fuckin draw anymore i dont even know why i bother.. im just another one of those people left out in the dust but ya knpo thats ok leave me here i dont want any of u to be here with me.. i jsut want marc..thats all i ever wated but i guess i dont get what i want now do i? FUCK YOU ALL FUCK LIFE I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE AND FROM NOW ON ITS MY DECISION AND U CANT STOP ME FROM MAKING THE DECISIONS I WANT TO MAKE!!!!!!! nothing is good anymore so its not worth keeping... everything is gone.. there is almsot no point for me to live..just marc...weither he is there or not.. i need him and just seeing him makes me feel ok.. i just hope ya kno.. i dont lose him anymore than i already have.. well..bai.. im off to cry like i do every fuckin night..X Promise me you'll never let me go.X
|
|
| YAYNESS OMG >.> |
[27 Dec 2004|06:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Breakdown-Breaking benjamin |
] |
WEEEEEEEEEEELL ok dirty dirty past few days...marc slept over for the past two days and well...lots of ...fun..>.> Lolol...Well RO is down for a bit so im stuck with the boring internet..SO yeh well..my frind Mary is staying with me for a while weeeeeeeeeee... im eating chips n salsa and omg i love ice cubes..*winks to marc* hahahaha ^~ U wun get it so dun try...xDD all u needa kno is that its naughty..xDD I have to babysit all week but i get pay'd 50$ for it so its worth it..the kid like..sits in the room playing gamesd all day i dun gotta do anything xD..Well..im off to watch the nightmare b 4 christmas bbl...BAIS!
X Its jsut like i feared this town is giong to make me breakdown.X
|
|
| Almost Christmas |
[23 Dec 2004|03:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 I LOVE MARC! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Headstrong=trapt |
] |
Well...Uhh..almost christmas...yay? also almsot me n marcs 11 mointh anniversary =D Yeah well i wanted to sleep over marcs house cuz my mum wants to get rid of me tonight buuuuuuuuut, oh well he stayed home from skewl so he cant. He is a butt..lol..I had yet another mental breakdown last night and im really tired of them..kinda wishing everyone...including marc would just go away for a little bit..yes i love him, more than anything and i kno he wants to help but sometimes he only makes it worse without meaning too..I want him to help me, but he is younge and he is hurting me more than he is helping me, just in ways that are hard to explain. My mum...actually stayed up talking to me trying to get me to stop crying from 10:15 to a lil past 12:00..Yeah well..im off...feeling extremely happy for once in my life so ima use it to my advantage.. *goes to run around my house naked* WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! BAIS! X back off i'll take you on.X IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCCCCCCCCCCCC!!
|
|
| Wowies.... |
[09 Nov 2004|11:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 haha yay drunkness |
] |
Woah i havnt been here in a while...yeah hmmm lets see...well it says the date so i dont really have to tell u now do i? Hmm well atm i have to go potty and im in chorus at skew..yeah well lets catch up.. Im not a virgin anymore and yes i lost (wouldnt really say lost more liek gave) it to marc (all the details are in my GOOD diary XDD)my tummy hurts...yeah..well marc basically sleeps over every weekend *cough* for....reasons.. and he is currently grounded for skipping skewl...his punishments are no tv, comp, phone, video games and no Jess *sib* poor lil boy lol. Im sure he will survive tho i think we need some times apart...mMmMmMm Taking backj sunday im obsessed with this cd now *glomsp it* its mine! Well i had a mental breakdown on thrusday and started crying in the hall... stress and friends if ur wondewring y.. the friends have been cutting them selves n shit so it hurts me..yeah well i think im done...gunna go listen to taking back sunday..MINE!! *runs* Bais *~* I wear my jeans a little tight and jsut a little to low, i liek to watch the little boys about to blow *~*
|
|
| well well well |
[05 Aug 2004|03:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 I WANT TO GO! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Broken by seether |
] |
hey havnt written in like...er..a while lol..hmm..well not much has happend im not sure when the last time i wrote was but i went camping with marc..yeh..i will check my last entries and write wut we did in the next one of i didnt already..hmm...well..nuttin much goin on..im goin campin with the kendalls then when i gt home from maine with them im goin to my dads in vermont...eesh.. i want to go to warped tour..but i cant..i'll be at my dads...so im sad now..T_T lol..well..m done..bai..*I wanted u to kno, that i love the way you laugh, i wanna hold u high and steal ur pain*
|
|
| long time no see |
[24 Jul 2004|02:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
i cant wait for campin!! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bodies by ...er... ah i forgot |
] |
hey, havnt written in here for a few days..well... today is saturday..i think..and i just woke up...wow..itsnt that sad? i went to muh friewnd megs house thursday and slept over then she had a b day party...chad..wow...lol he just like..wow..lol..i unno wut to say... well.. im kinda in the process of eating breakfast and writing a poem and talkin to some peeps online..the party was pretty kewl, but tomorrow is gunna be better. I get to go camping with marc until wednesday...woOt! lol im so happy... but..he is gunna see my hair in the morning!!! that is soooo bad!!! im talkin to him right now and he just called my lucky charms nasty!! *gasperates* but i luv them...they are mdically delicious..just like legolas...isnt that right *pets my legolas poster* so delicious..*licks it..* uuuuhhh..heh..*sweat drop* marc is babbling on about something...squal? wtf? i unno..he says stuff i dont understand a lot..i just ignore it..then he ignores me..oh well!! i will live woOt! Sunday is also our 6th mionth anniversary...i cant beleive its been this long..eeesh...usually it only lasts about 2 months... guess this is different...if we make it to one year i wont be here...and im sad..i will be in florida for vaca...*tear* peace out ^-^v *i dont wanna cry a tear for you, so forgive me if i do*
|
|
| too many days.. |
[20 Jul 2004|09:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
still missin marc..lol.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Freak out by Avril |
] |
wow...i havtn updated in a while so i think i will now..well...i just started writing my dirty thoughts in a diary that other people cant read..so..sorry guys..lo...those are allll mine..well...not much has happened lately..i went to get analized today..i felt like i was at skewl taking a test b cuz of the questions the guy asked me...but..it wasnt bad..i got to do ink blot tests...they were kinda hard tho..i mean..its ink...wut the fuck could u see in ink? all i see is some yummy mouth changing color think..lol..well..i should go...i miss marc lol..i havnt seen him in ages...hmm..i have fantasies to write about..lol.. u will never kno.. ooo i member sumthin i was gunna write..yeah...me n marc almost broke up..dont ask its a long long long story..but..i cried...and then my dad got mad at me cuz i told him how i really feel bout him..oh well..lol..ttyl..bai!! *freak out let it go, im gunna live my life, i wont, keep it inside, freak out let it go*
|
|
| Well...its friday...still... wont be in 7 minutes. |
[16 Jul 2004|11:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
i want marc back... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Trying by Lifehouse |
] |
well, got home from marcs house at like..9:30..mum was on comp...lol..well..at marcs justin was over and we all just played around a lot...not much really happened...when we were in the house tho i wanted to prove to them that i can handle hot things in my mouth so i ate a cherry pepper thing...and it was a red one so it wasnt too hot and i was ok...i thought it was good...so they told me to eat a green one adn i did...fuck did that hurt!!! 2 peppers and one hotter than the other!!! meeeep!i wS good..for like..5 minutes...then when i took a deep breath ( i thought the hottness had left) it started to kill!!!! majorly!!! I was like aaaaah!!! and i like..had tears in ym eyes...then me and marc sister were like..guzzling water (she ate one after i did) and so stupid marc had to copy us and he ate one so we were all like flaming on the way home to drop me off...marc agve me a cd...Lifehosue..i still like them...every time i go to give him a good bye kiss he is like.. "wut are u doing. u need to show me where i sleep" lol so tonight i told him he can move in next week..lol..hmm...well when i got home i was watchin my mum talk to some guy on the comp then when ii got on i IMecd him and started bitchin at him...it was fun..i luv the things i come up with...well...g2g..lyl...bai!*and if i should fall to the bottom of the end i shall be one step back u and im trying to find my way*
|
|
| Hmm.. |
[16 Jul 2004|11:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
im hyper yet no one is around. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Fall to peices by Avril Lavigne |
] |
Well, i forgot to write in this 2 days in a row....oooops! Lol...well not much happened... Anne made me and the girls help her clean the garage..yuk... we got wicked dirty and stinky lol...Hmm..yesterday i went to marcs after i left the Kendalls house... it was fun. We had squirt guns and were taking turns attacking each other....teehee...lol..Marc is online...but i think he is at skewl..not sure...hmm... im going over marcs house again today..wonder wut we might do...wow..that sounded naughty..XDD Thats not wut i meant...i think..no..thats def. not wut i meant..his mom is home when im there so that cant be wut i mean..XDDDDD..Hmm.. I cant really think of much... my mum is at work so im hoem alone until 5...then me go to marcs..wo0t wo0t! lol..that loox soo goofy....hmm...well...cant think of anything else..if i do i will add it to my Comments box thing,...yeah...Bai!! *if i had my way, ide never get over you, today;s the day, i pray that we make it thru, make thru the fall make it thru the fall, and i dont wanna fall to peices i just wanna sit and stare at u,i dont wanna talk about it, cuz im in love with u* I LUV U MARC!
|
|
| Tuesday and marcless... |
[13 Jul 2004|10:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
i miss my baby boy... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Just a little girl by Amy Studt |
] |
hmm..well...today i ended up going over my bff's (kendalls) house...yeah we didnt do much we just watched tv, made cookies, ect.. i was talkin to marc online and we were lookin at goofy pix together..lol..i wanna go to his house again..*sigh* well...this is gunna be a short entry... not much happened today...my hermit crab fred died tho..i was sad for a bit but im over it b cuz i didnt like him too much, and i still have george...yeah..well...gn sd ILYA! Bai!!! *~*sometimes, i feel, your not, listening, sometimes, i feel, you dont understand*~*
|
|
| Monday...yay... |
[12 Jul 2004|09:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hahaha thats funni..lol |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bullets by Creed |
] |
Well..hmm..today...woke up, sister told me she wasnt gunna be here b cuz she was going to the beach wit her friends (yeeeeeeesssssssss!!!!!!!!),took a shower, got online...talked to Marc (of course) tried to get my nana to come pick me up but she never answered her phone..*growl*, hmm..mum came home, had coffee and sandwich, went to marcs house. Ok, this is where it all gets interesting to read, Lol. Hmm, lets see. Well, my mum dropped me off and we went in the house and were home alone for like, 10 minutes. We just sat on the couch...bored..but wait..it gets interesting, lol. We went in the pool, well..he kinda pushed me in but anyways, i got on the floaty duck that he has and like, he got on it too and it toppled over...so..thats how he ended up in the pool..XDD Then we were just being losers like always and kept up with the duck thing. Then i wrapped my legs around his waiste and put my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder as he walked around the pool and he was being suck a goof and was blowing in my ear really hard like, and then biting my head and biting my cheek..lol..Then we got extremely cold so we got out of the pool and stood around shivering for a bit. Then the two kids who i had stated yesterday came over and we just hung out and talked for a bit. Then marc's mum went to get supper...i didnt wanna eat but, w/e. lol. Sooooooo, while she was gone we went into the house and watched tv. we were watchin for a bit and a music video i liekd came on so i ran to tghe tv screen and like, had my face about an inch away so he came over and pulled me away from the tv so he was lieing on his back and i was ontop of him..<3<3<3 If only it lead to more..*sigh* lol..wellllll, anyways, we got back on the couch and we were just about to kiss....and the fuckin phone rang!! I was like..omg..and he said that would be funni if it was justin saying "ew" (loooooong inside story) and we started jokin around bout that while the answering machine was going and it was his sister so he had to answer the phone. While he did that another song i liked came on the tv so i got to the tv once again and when he got off the phone he pulled me over like before. He said we had to go across the street to get our food so we did then we came back home and i ate but he didnt... unno..he is odd like that. Sooooo, after we..well..I ate,then once again a song came on that i liked so i went to the tv and he pulled me off it so yeah. Then i sat up, turned so i faced him, crawled over him, and he opened his legs so i lowered my body...yeah...and we kept kisisng then i think the phone rang again but im not sure..yeah..then they brought me home and marc wanted to stay lol...i would of let him in if my mum wasnt still awake and if his mum wasnt waiting in the car....stupid mums..lol..they ruin everything..*cries* lol..well..yeah... i luv him..ttya tomorrow... ILYA! Bai! *~* Look at me, look at me, look at me when you shoot a bullet thru my head, thru my head, thru my heaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. I say they shoot cuz they wanna!*~*
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
4ever4sakenjess's journal